Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Healthy relationships

Much has changed in the dating scene in the last few decades. There were days when love marriages were strongly disapproved by 90 percent of the people and now the disapproval has dropped drastically. In this very generation, teens are quick and aggressive in their decision, be it proposing, falling in love, breaking up the relation and finally hunting for the next one. I feel the essence of a divine relationship is lost though definitely not in al cases, but then a few. These few make a difference in the society and these few matters a lot.

If you look at the facts, more than 75 percent of all adolescents of both the sexes would have had at least one date. Now days, many are into the dating relationships by the end of high school because one thinks romance is way out in their stressful life and is also become a trend having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Also researches indicate that dating styles differ accordingly. In early adolescence, dating is considered to be mixed group activities like meeting in a mall, movie theatres, or a dinner at restaurants. Whereas by mid adolescence, a group of well established people go out and finally the late adolescence, couples may seek intimate evenings out. The point I wish to high light here is that, teenagers should wait until the late adolescence before becoming seriously involved, because they are then adjusted more comfortably than the former.

The word adjusting is of great importance in relationships. Relationship is the one where two different set of people come together in life. So there are obvious situations where difference of opinion being raised. In such a case, its better to just give our own opinion and do not oblige on your opinion and if you sense the conversation is getting a little too adverse, stop right there. It‘s just not advised to proceed further as things mite go out of reach of your hands because fighting to win gets you nowhere. And if u feel things are already out of reach, pleasing words or a “sorry!” would definitely get things right back on track. Now the problem is, asking a sorry. People don’t realize the value of the word sorry. Many relationship problems could be solved, if they talk and confess. What’s wrong in asking a sorry, when u think u made a mistake?? Healthy relationships can admit mistakes giving up their ego, after al your sweetheart.

It’s usually said that, in relationships things are really sweet in the first few months, and then gradually they change. I would definitely like to note that, change of things is common in relationships but not the love for each other. Accepting changes shows the understanding level of each other. Instead of complaining, it sounds great to accept changes with thorough understanding. Also it shows the level of maturity. No one can be everything we might want him or her to be. Sometimes people disappoint us. It’s not all-or-nothing, though. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them. Love them for what they are and not for how you want them to be because you proposed to them for what they are.

Healthy relationships are between winners who seek answers to problems together. If there’s anything you feel is not fine, best counter is to come together, communicate, talk. It definitely can not be one-way traffic. Both need to take the initiative at some point. And when you deal with problem, attack the problem and not the other person. Open sensitive conversations with "I" statements, talk about how you struggle with the problem. Don’t open with "you" statements. Avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy relationships don’t blame.

In a healthy relationship, you feel good about yourself when you are around that person and healthy peer relationships involve an equal amount of give and take in the relationship and you should feel safe around the other person and feel that you can trust him/her with your secrets. Trust is very important in a relationship. If you fail to trust the person, it’s better to step down as such a relationship leads to an unhealthy one. Finally to make a point, when you decide to go in for a relationship, make sure that you don’t re think your decision and when you decide to step down from a relationship, think twice, look through the issue because deep in your heart you might not be able to live without them. Never switch relationships. That’s why everyone requests us to think in depth before getting committed. My best wishes to everyone for a healthy long term relationship!